Why does my infant smell like Kraft Dinner?

..And many other seemingly rhetorical questions I've had on my mind.

Riddle me this: HOW does a 12 week old baby get dirt under her fingernails? Is she sneaking out in the middle of the night to play in the dirt? Maybe it's she who is tending to my Aerogarden.

Am I going to get botulism from my feeble canning attempt?

Seriously, that's seventy-five dollars and five hours of my life I'm never going to get back. They probably don't even taste good. I'm too afraid to actually eat them.

And lastly, What do I do?

Am I doing it right?

Seemingly so, I'd say. The parsley doesn't seem to want to sprout. The pod reads "8-15 days", and today is day 15. I'm not stoked on bum parsley, seeing as it's the ONE herb out of that kit that I was most likely to use.

WTF do I do with Marjoram and Savory? I suppose I better'd find something to do with it.